@Row Jimmy,

You sound so confident and clear about who you are. It's wonderful that you are at that point. I feel I have done things inside that at the time are justified, and then later on I regret them or feel horrible. I guess the one difference is that I DO care what others think. I lost my 3 closest friends. I know what I did was wrong. But apart of me is also hurt that none of them have reached out to say "dude wtf were you thinking", or "what's wrong with you", or anything like that. Not trying to say woe is me, but I have a big heart underneath all.of this mess. So if I **** up or do something bad, I feel I'm always held to a different standard then anybody else. I guess I'm having a hard time just understanding and coming to terms with all of it. I just know that if it was one of my friends, I would yes be angry, but also concerned and compassionate. I'm feeling very bad and self conscious. I just don't know if that's "normal" or not