I do not think I own my brain due to episodes of MI. That is not me in terms of character, thoughtfulness, and dependability. Before my BP became much worse, I was who I chose to be, at least for the most part. I liked who I was becoming, even though there was allot of work ahead of me. I was capable of change. This is no longer the case. In some ways, I became the opposite of who I was. Now this does not mean I use BP as an excuse. I deeply regret the hurt I have given others, and find it difficult to forgive myself, even though the hurt I gave was decades in the past. I own up to what I have done in the past. I just need the correct medication and help to once again become more like who I was and what I believe in myself to be.