I have never loved anyone, or even have been affectionate, toward past girlfriends. This even applied to my ex wife during my marriage to her. It was more of a needy relationship, one that reeks of codependency. However, I did allow myself to fall in love with the mother of my child, despite her having difficulties expressing her emotions. Many years later, I still have not become over my love for her. Also she does not want to be together with me. However, we are like oil and water. When I shake things up, we are very good together. However, we quickly separate. So goes the pitfalls of a love relationship gone bad.