I had that period about feeling that way too, falling through the cracks. When I got to the lowest point was when I managed to have some valuable insights however. That I might not have got otherwise. And that gave me strength like never before. I hope you get somewhere too!

Unfortunately, the mental health system clearly doesn't have enough resources beyond those 20 mins. Don't take that personally.

As for friends and family: have you asked them directly for specific help? No one is a mind reader - again I don't think it's something to be taken personally. I did have to understand this for myself too.

You could say anxiety is an alarm but not an alarm of what actually is going to happen in outside reality, more like it's an indicator of your internal state instead, and of subconscious stuff maybe.

As for being suicidal: I hope the desire for that doesn't get stronger. At this point hopefully it's still just a feeling you have and not more than that, that is, that you still see a way to go on. I would think the real serious indicator for suicide is if one starts to make actual plans for it, plans that are actually executable. Also, if someone has already tried, that's another serious indicator.

(Where I call it "just a feeling" isn't to invalidate the experience of it. It was a comment in terms of how emotion management works - if you recognize that something is just a feeling, you can gain more control over it. And hopefully that can help.)

I think this whole post is really about how you do have the strength and so control over how YOU see things internally and how you go on in future. So that means you can get better. This is meant as encouragement. Even if it isn't trivial to get to a better place.

Really good luck with going on!