I feel completely emotionally unavailable. I have no desire to be in a relationship right now. Sometimes I feel like I am "supposed" to feel some kind of desire to attach to someone and share love (society expectations), but it's just not there. I've always been on the un-trusting side, even when I have been in relationships.

As soon as I was getting better with that, things seemed to fall apart. Now, I am becoming increasingly apathetic, where the idea of being with someone suffocates me. I don't even feel like dating anyone or having a fling. In the past, no strings attached arrangements have been appealing, as a fun release, without having to get emotionally involved. However, lately, that doesn't even interest me at all.

It would be nice to feel different, but I am honestly not in the mood to try any time soon. I am more content being on my own and just having a few friends to talk to here and there and a couple of family members. Even with them, I keep some distance. As far as relationships, being by myself feels free. Why force something where my heart isn't in it to begin with, I figure? It's just takes too much effort to involve myself with anyone, and I don't want to put that person through any kind of hurt or waste their time.