I am immensely appreciative to you and everyone else below whom I quoted for continuing to read, post, offer support and be empathetic. Thank you all.

Yeah, she did convince me of feeling guilty. She also seemed to consciously try to do so (as in manipulate me deliberately.) I was of the perspective of "taking care of" both "our needs," not just mine, but she ended up staying. As I stated, while we were both still in the UK together, we agreed and planned to return to the states. Allegedly, she needed to stay a few extra days to ensure that a special request for a full refund for her tuition was approved via multiple signatures of university personnel. Moreover, she did not reveal that to me until she was certain that she possessed the (financial) means to stay. All the while, she lead me along and astray.

It's funny that you mention what you did because when she changed in her behavior toward me and interaction in general after several days of being physically apart, she seemed to project her actions and perspectives onto me. To elaborate, she insisted that I was "being selfish," "acting on self-interest" (not her words, but same message,) and "choosing my interests over her" (not her words again, but same message.)

For how ever long before we decided on going to the UK together, during our stay in the UK together and when I returned to the UK in wait for her in the states, I reiterated how I was willing to be with her, regardless of distance. So, I was willing and wanting to be in a relationship with her, whether it was long distance or not. Likewise, she expressed the same, aforesaid perspectives to me; however, evidently, she chose to be in London without me, without going back, without being in a relationship and so on. There were options. Apparently, what she chose was what was in her self-interest and what she wanted.

Haha, yeah, I don't disagree to your claims about the red flags, running away and control freak. Unfortunately for me, as I mentioned, she did not reveal herself to be like that until I was already intimate and intensely in love with her, back in the states and so on (but like you said there were probably signs before that point in history.)

No, she appears to not have any, but in her mind...



Haha, there seems to be plenty of evidence, doesn't there?



Haha, I understand, respect and find your joke to be humorous. Apparently, she is not "living in a woman's shelter" or "homeless" like she claimed that she would be. According to her and for her, she was the actor, who enabled her to stay through "wanting it enough" (ignoring money as the main means to stay, pay to stay and so on.)



Indeed to everything you said. I would not disagree with your two claims in your first and last sentences. Additionally, her parents are allegedly her source, but I honestly lack verification if they are or are not. She continued to insist that she was strapped financially and that her parents "scraped enough" to pay for her dorm, which enabled her to stay; however, maybe they are not the (sole) source of funds for her.

As I stated in earlier posts, I ran through lists with her about people to ask for money for us both to stay. She told me that she had no one to ask, even though that she told me she had a brother in law who was "wealthy" and who would "most likely help if she were to ask" among other people of "wealth."

Mind you, her parents also allegedly "scraped enough" money after I left. When I questioned her about that, she had several excuses such as "it took them some time to find it" and "after I told them what you did to me, they figured out how to help me." I also told her how if there was no money, we/she/I would not be able to stay.

I noted to her that in order to achieve the objective of paying for living expenses, there must be the means of money to do so... she ignored that when I told her and replied to me that it was a matter of "want" as if "want" outweighed and was more of a means for her to stay rather than money as the main means.

She is most likely not paying for herself. As you also suggested, there is probably already some guy(s) picking up her tab.

I am aware to extent that approximately as soon as I left the country, she was inventing a victim, pity story that she told people. "She was abandoned in the UK. Her boyfriend abandoned her. He left her with no money."

It's as if she invented a "reality" as you phrased it that consists of extreme self-deception, which is comprised of self-denial (of responsibility, history, actions, events, perspectives and more,) deflection (of responsibility, history, actions, events, perspectives and more,) and fleeing (of responsibility, history, actions, events, perspectives and more.) Since she is the the victim and hero, while I am the oppressor and she "conquered' my oppression, she continues living without any guilt, responsibility, and so on. Maybe, she isn't being as just described. (just a theory amongst others.)

She's parasitic.

here is another story for you (if I did not mention it already. if I did, I apologize)

When I was running out of money and before I had no money at all, I would try to talk to her about possible sources of additional funds. She had no credit card. (Apparently, she had credit card debt, student debt and, maybe, what ever other debt.) Her only "feasible" suggestion was for me to cosign an emergency loan of $15,000 so we could both stay in London. Mental alarm bells rang when she told that to me. I declined.



Yeah, it's more than "fishy" in my humble opinion. I think that I was mistaken in an earlier post as the approximate day when she told me. It was roughly a week before leaving, not the day before the date of departure. Mental alarm bells were ringing when she told me on the phone that morning.

Regardless of the minor error for when she told me, for her to claim such a story, especially with the amount of money needed to pay for repairs (roughly or exactly) equaling the amount of money needed to pay for both the VISA and airfare (as well as bags and so on,) and to tell me this story so soon before we left seems like such a fabrication and lie; however, I cannot verify. Also, it is possible that it was not a fabrication, nor lie.

Another story about "people funding her" is that right before we stopped talking in end of January, she was wanting for me to pay for a gym membership. She quickly added that she also wanted for me to pay for a weight loss program for her. When she called me the last two times on the phone, she would try to dictate the conversations, how they would develop if at all, what info was conveyed and how the info was conveyed. If she did not like anything pertaining to me such as my tone, behavior, words, questions and on, she would lash out at me. An example would be me asking her to be honest and open, but she refused, even though she finally shouted that "of course that she was dating other guys!"

Moreover, for how ever long, it seemed as if she had in her mind a specific role for me to play and how to specifically play that role. My attempts for the conversation to be honest and open were rejected. Well, I guess that I did play the role and play it like she demanded because in addition to telling me that she "needed to a take a break from me" she also told me that "she had the gym membership and weight loss program" covered. Again, this is a woman, who is supposed to have extremely limited finances. I suppose that she already had a man or men lined up to pay for her... she also wanted how ever much money spent on makeup, her hair and something else that I forget.

From Christmas to when we stopped talking, she additionally wanted me to send her a care package, even though she would exclaim how "she was single. she was dating other men. she could do whatever she wanted" and on.