Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia
Yes probably physically you’re showing everyone around you that you are well. The stereotypical person that has major MH issues....well they look like their about to lose it.
Either you are a well oiled machine or you have parts in you that are very well hidden. Those parts of you are reaching out for help, but maybe not hard enough.
I remember being very sick in my teens & early 20’s. I was sinking fast & knew that I needed help or I’d end up dead.
I specifically remember my mom asking me, “do you think you’re going to harm yourself?” I knew she was talking to a shrink. I wasn’t diagnosed.
I knew I could lie & just stay home & suffer, but for some reason I said yes, I’m going to harm myself bec somehow I knew there’d be help for me. I went into my first hospitalization. I was taken seriously.
You sound very serious DechanDawa & it’s time to reach further for help. You need to tell your T & pdoc that you have full plans. Now you might not, but they will take you seriously & get you the help you need even if that’s a hospitalization it gets you the attention that this deserves.
So please reach out further for help. Tell them just how serious this is!!
Please. Wish you the best outcome.
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Well, I would not lie and say I have "full plans" because I don't. I would say I have passive ideation. Everyone knows this about me. Hospitalization isn't going to help. I am not on medication. I don't want to be on medication. I guess what I want is follow-up. I guess I wish my doctor had told me to email her in a month or so.
Actually, I don't know what I want.
I also had a "freak out" in high school. My mother sent me to a therapist and for some reason he called me a "brat" and I refused to see him again. Then my mother took me out of school and sent me to live with my brother and his wife for a few weeks. They lived in a big city. I went to museums everyday. We cooked. They let me have a glass of wine with dinner. That was my "therapy" and it worked.
Maybe I am a "well-oiled" machine.
In the past I coped by doing unhealthy crap but now I am so physically healthy I barely recognize myself. I am not even certain what healthy coping should look like. At this point I am very "contained" and only speak from my heart here on Psych Central.
I am certain most people would not see a mentally "freaked out" person when looking at me.