My whole life people always made a big deal of me being shy. So when I reached 15 I started to believe that if I didn't appear to be confident I was going to miss out on things in life. Some people would say how my friend and brother were amazing ands they had so much outer energy and I thought they were dismissing me as having a deficit. So when my bi polar hit and I got hyper I found I could make people laugh and that God had answered my prayers.
I of course went too far In changing my mainly introverted nature I lost sense of who I really was. I didn't recognise this person I realised at 24. I was so lost and I wanted to pull the trigger and put my lights out for good. I had caved in to what others expected of me and societies expectations.
So this led to me becoming very depressed and I had to go off on a spiritual pilgrimage and ignore what everyone else thought for once in my life.
So what if I am not life and soul of party.