eskielover, no, I don't believe you are being too critical. You have lasted in this marriage for 32 years and you have reached your limit. You say you are more at peace now that you are without him in Kentucky. That is very telling to me. I separated from my H of 20 years a few months back and gosh darn it, it is so great to not have him around! I am not having second thoughts at all, because I just feel so much better on my own.

It sounds like you have tried working on issues with a psychologist/counselor. I would think a big issue for you two to work on in therapy is whether to stay together or not? Did you work on that and come to a conclusion? It sounds like you've had a lot of therapy, but still not reached a conclusion? That is what my H and I worked on in therapy and we ended up deciding to get a divorce. Then we continued therapy and worked on uncoupling. Couples/relationship counselors help people divorce too, not just stay together. It just sounds to me like there is not a conclusion for you two. Are you going to try to stay together and make things work or are you going to split up? Once you decide that, then you can work on making the solution you've chosen work.

I am so glad you have taken the right steps to make sure the Kentucky farm is yours.

I agree, seeing a financial counselor would be helpful and give you some solid plans in different "what if" scenarios. If possible, choose a financial advisor who is also a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst). Go here for more info:
https://www.institutedfa.com/

I wish you much strength and the best of luck in this continuing painful part of your life.

P.S. Gawd, I hate Don Rickles.