This sounds like my ex. Everyone thinking he was so great (and in a lot of ways he was). However, under stress he was a beast. Taking it out on me. When he felt threatened by other people he took it out on me. This could even be a waiter at a restaurant who handed me something. Things got so bad that a waiter could not hand anything directly to me.
It had to come thru him first.

Lots of flowers here too, and lets face it they are wonderful to recieve.

After awhile, his temper tantrums would depress me to a state that I could not leave the bedroom, or bathroom all day. Just wanted to sit in the bathroom. I had to slip checks for the maids under the door. Making me look like what? Like something was wrong with me?

I was tense all the time, and tired. Mentally it took days and even weeks to recover my own thoughts again. Being tired is a real sign that he is beating you down mentally.

The abuser wants to keep you down. Pinning you to the floor is just an act of control. The abuser has to have control! If he did not control you, you may leave him. (Their thinking). The abuser has so little self esteem, yet when you try to build it up, they are way too big for life.

Flowers - the "honeymoon period" they go thru after an abuse, that caused you to distance yourself for your own state of mind. They are so sweet, romantic, giving, and yes Mr. Wonderful to everyone around you.

The cycle of abuse is exhausting mentally. It is a real cycle. After the honeymoon period, they relax and things are ok again, but then the abuse strikes again. The cycle repeats itself, over and over.

Could get marriage counseling. This may work for both of you. The most important thing is the abuse has to stop (if he is capable of it).

I am sorry that you are going thru this. It is hard. All I am saying here is that abusers are all the same. They have symptoms, and they are the same from person to person. This is why a therapist may help (while still keeping the abuser seperated from you). Then if things don't work, take the next step to keep yourself away from him. If he is really dangerous get an order of protection started immediately.

There is a tool that is called an abuse wheel. On this wheel it will show the symptoms of the abuser. You may find that he has all the signs, or only some. The wheel can be gotten from Womens abuse shelters, or maybe there is one here even (have not looked). Another source may be to google it, but it is well worth having.

Start talking to people about what he has done. If you dont they will think it is you and not him. It may seem humilating to talk about it out loud, but this is another step for help.

Anyway, I wish you the best in all this. Please keep posting, so others can relate and help give you the support you are really needing to go through this.

Sincerely and Best Wishes,

Colors