Fyi, I read all the posts today. I quoted a few, but my response is for everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucson
I read your posts, giddykitty. I also have problems with intimacy. I functioned the best in a relationship that does not much involve intimacy. Quite frankly, I do not fully understand what is intimacy, and what kinds work in a relationship. I know this is a sad commentary on myself. You know? This is the first time I have thought about this. Enough discussion on this topic. 
Lately I have been going to a restaurant for coffee or water while surfing the Internet. I do this when I feel a bit lonely. This also gives me something to do , and somewhere to go. Sometimes I meet a person there who I have seen there in the past. So I talk to him. |
Thanks and thanks for the reply. I don't expect everyone to reply or this every time, but it helped today.
I'm sorry if I triggered something for you. Don't be sad though. It's a journey.
I think I understand intimacy, it's just it's hard to maintain this feeling when you are with someone for so long. I want to and have expectations that all of my "intimate" moments (by "intimate" in quotes, I mean sex, or intimate sex rather-passionate kind, but I usually speak of this with discretion, fyi. But yes sex and intimacy are two different things.) I struggle with maintaining the "intimate" part with my one and only, all the time, and it is hard when our times of needs don't always line up. But again, it does happen sometimes and for those times, I'm truly grateful. But last night was another moment where it didn't line up again, and so we will have to try again. I won't be sharing my love life, but I will say that I had a promise of hope the other day and am hopeful for the future...hopefully near future.
But yes, intimacy doesn't have to mean sex, and that is what I'd been craving from my partner. I think he at least recognizes that now and I am working on myself and how I can APPROPRIATELY express how I need and want intimacy. I hope you can figure it out too. And anyone else struggling with this. Sorry to hear it, but nice not to feel alone. <3
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
I am simultaneously exhausted yet hyped. I知 sitting here yawning but at the same time I want to dance. Definitely on the hypomanic side of things today but probably only for a few hours, Then I値l Calm down. Tends to be how it goes, especially if I知 working or cleaning or whatever. But I知 happy hypo today bc it痴 Friday and I only have to deal with work for 5.5 more hours! Then I get to go home and do whatever.
I知 really tired of the mood swings though. I just want to be consistently stable like I was in January and like I was for a year and a ****ing half before I had to stop invega. Swinging back and forth so wildly is exhausting.
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I'm with ya! I feel like today might be a bit more balanced, although I'm still "worried" and sick to my stomach in anticipation for news from an old friend, or closure if it's not meant to be. I hate this feeling-mix of hope and dread. Not sure what's worse, the mix or the dread. Seriously, I don't know...much like mixed bipolar episodes, that I had been having for the past week or so. I do agree the exhaustion is, well, exhausting! Bleh!