"Like I was floating above my own body and watching all of this" - Willowtree32

Yes. In my mania, I felt like this. I was so detached that I could easily do things without caring about the consequences. I might have been deemed a sociopath at the time, but after medical and psychological treatment I'm quite the opposite. I'm a damn sweet guy who cares for people deeply ;-). That's who I really am. I'm not crazy...my crazed behavior was just something that happened to my brain that needed correction with medical treatment.

I do relate to your story quite a bit, but I don't see my illness as something I've experienced all of my life. It came on later in life. I do have a personality that just is what it is no matter what drugs I take and it's not a bad personality at all, but the "craziness" is gone.

I will not guess if you have a mental illness or a personality disorder or anything, but I suspect there is help and support for you, here and elsewhere.