I am in crisis.

I lost a bunch of friends a few weeks ago because I stole during (what I believe, I'm not diagnosed) to be a manic episode. I don't remember what I stole or even how much. It sounds so strange but it's the truth. Well today another friend said he caught charges on his credit card that led back to me. He said he was going to call the cops and charge me if I didn't repay him back. I seriously have very little recollection of it. I know I did it but it felt like it wasn't me. I lied to cover it up and I'm now facing the consequences of those lies.

I feel sick to my stomach. It had never been this bad before. I have never had episodes like thisand I'm terrified. This isn't me! And it's not normal. I feel that.
My friends all hate me and don't understand. They think I'm a sociopath and that I'm a pathological liar.

I am so scared. People ask me why I did what I did and I don't have a concrete answer. Yes I'm in financial debt but that's no reason to take from your friends. And it was on stupid things like movies etc.

I am very scared of myself. I don't get it and it's causing me total and complete emotional pain. Somebody please help me