I’m more than a little worried about lithium kicking my kidneys. I watched my husband die (young) of organ failure with the kidneys leading the way, so I know EXACTLY what that means.

But, I had already tried other meds. I dragged my sorry butt nearly ready to die to the psychiatrist and asked for the lithium I had rejected before, and I miraculously felt better in about two weeks. I don’t care what anyone says, lithium works on depression and anxiety for me. I had it so bad I couldn’t stand to be in my skin.

I’ve got to have this lithium.

I’m scared because I keep getting worse. I know looking back I’ve been bipolar my whole life. But my husband dying made me worse. Then this stressful job made me worse yet (I had to take it—my previous employer going out of business cut me in a layoff). My mom got worse as she got older.

So, what do I do if I can’t take the lithium anymore because of the kidneys?

I’ll let them hit me with the ECT treatments and pray for my memory to stay with me.