Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Um, I find that odd too. I have only ever friended a partner's friend after meeting them in person and spending time with them. Not just randomly after hearing about them. That does seem inappropriate to me. I mean, they haven't even met you yet. Why do they NEED to be friends with their wife's friends they haven't met yet in person? That's just, odd.
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I know right!???? I really thought so too. I am in total agreement with you here. It didn't even dawn on me, till the same EXACT thing happened with Friend 2. Like when the situation with Friend 1 happened, I kinda blew it off, but man it really makes me think. Why the HELL do they need to be friends with me too? I have zero interest in them, just my damn friends!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadGirl
Totally weird. I have a few of my husband's friends on Facebook, after we have spent time together in person. My husband has some of my friends on his Facebook because they interact on Facebook or in person. I would never reach out to a friend's spouse without knowing them as I feel it doesn't sent a good message.
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it absolutely doesn't send a good message! i totally agree. You and seesaw both made really good points how you met your friend's partners in person first. I haven't even gotten NEAR that stage yet with either one of my friends. I mean this whole situation is just a few weeks old. Can these guys just back the hell off?
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
It happened to me twice.
Pretty much a husband of a new friend (neighbor) hit on me over the phone and then in person. It was terrible. Second time someone I was doing some work for, her grown son contacted me with inappropriate proposal.
I believe these men are hitting on you, perhaps saw your picture or heard of your looks. In my case they knew I was recently divorced and heard I looked good so they figure I’d be easy to get to bed. No kidding. Stay away from these people
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You may be absolutely right too. And I genuinely thank you for bringing up such a good point, and I am really sorry that this happened to you, not once but twice! These guys may be totally after me, (I know they both saw a picture of me), but does that mean I have to abandon my friends because they are in relationships with possible douchebags? I don't know, I don't think I shouid pass judgement on my girlfriends like that for their poor partner choices, especially since i have made REALLY poor partner choices in the past myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
My gut was the control vibe, too, until I started reading replies. But if it is the control thing, hopefully you can remain in touch just one on one.
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That's where my gut is mostly pointing to as well, the whole "controlling thing"
I had a thought about this whole thing too. I think I am going to book an appointment with my therapist for Monday or Tuesday, if he is available. I think I REALLY need to talk to him, not because I haven't had helpful advice but this is a really unique situation. My therapist of 11 years, knows BOTH these women personally, as in they have had some kind of therapy with him in the past, (either Group or One on One). Like I said, I met these women years ago, when I first moved to Long Island, and we ended up in the same kind of "mental health therapy" circles. I know that he can't disclose what he discussed with them, but I think he may have some insight that might be helpful.
Also, I reached out to a freind from California who said I should cut all the speculation and be honest and outright tell my friends what their partners did, but honestly I am too much of a chicken shyt for that, and I mean we JUST got in contact again.
We will see how it goes, and I will definitely keep you guys posted. Thanks for the helpful replies!!!!
