Look...not trying to disrespect your faith, but not doing it your whole life all the way up to this point would mess with anyone's head. That's number 1. Number 2 is there are people out there that can't have sex bc nobody is willing to have a relationship or anything to do w them for whatever reason. Number 3 is there are people who physically cant have sex. You have had relationships and you have the ability to do it physically as well. Go out, meet someone and gave sex. You need it. God won't be mad. Stop beating yourself up that you haven't either. Make the effort to meet someone and then just be open to it. It will come as a huge relief once you do it.