There are unspoken rules and both these partners broke them.

The first one who called independent of his wife is just never done by anyone I’ve ever known. I can’t even speculate why he did that. I would tell my friend that her SO called me, just so she’d know, and that you never called him back.

The second one who friend requested you, before ever even meeting you in person, is really strange, too...just not done. My h does have my female friends as his facebook friends, but it was after he got to know them, and felt like it was ok. I’m not sure who friended who, and it was totally fine with me. I didn’t think anyone was inappropriate in that. I also think my h friended them in order to see more of what goes on with me, my posts, etc...