So this isn’t a debate over ending 25 years of marriage that was good and then went bad, you’ve been only together a year, 6 months of which was while on drugs. It’s a short lived relationship that was unhealthy from the start. If it starts with drama and toxicity it’s not going to get better (typically). Do you see a therapist? You might want to address why you are so attached to someone you’ve only known for a short awhile?