In my head I'd already made the decision to leave you and therapy.

But today was your birthday. I'd already give your birthday present early the last time I was in London. I sent an email also saying "Happy birthday and that I hoped you had a wonderful day."

You just replied saying thank you for the message and that you and your daughter loved my present ( a card with a pug, the book "Oh the places you'll go by Dr Seuss, Green and Black chocolate mix and a £10 amazon gift card) . That's the first time you've mentioned her name. I don't think I'm jealous of a 3 year old, but I felt a lump of sadness that I couldn't be your daughter.

Please don't hate me for missing friday's session.I don't want anyone else but you.