My sister has been living with our mother the last few years. If I let the answering machine pick up, my sister calls and is really upset. She thinks Mom hates her and allows Mom to manipulate her. So, if I don't respond to my mother, my sister makes me feel guilty about it.

It doesn't do any good to place limits on my mother because she wants to be the one who is in control. If she makes a suggestion and my sister or I agree with it, she'll change her mind. Sometimes she calls me at a different time because there's a program she wants to watch on TV.

My mother has been diagnosed with major depression in the past but she refuses to take medication for it. She doesn't have much interest in being around other people except to go shopping, and sounds agitated if my sister goes somewhere with friends. Usually her behavior cycles, so some months she does better than others.

I just started taking an anti-depressant, so maybe that will help me deal a little better with things.