I am sad and sorry I have mental illnesses: complex PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. It's hard enough accepting these diagnoses and choosing to do the best i can with the coping mechanisms I know work for me. A sibling told me this week that moving back here after I left another state (and my high paying job) fleeing a stalker was a MISTAKE. That I should have moved "somewhere else". She failed to mention our mother's breast cancer returned after 11 years in remission & is scheduled to have a double mastectomy this coming Monday. Shooting me to put me out of my misery would have been kinder!!!!!!

Mental Illness destroys familial and other relationships more than any other dis-ease or illness primarily due to STIGMA and lack of understanding in my personal experiences and opinion. I choose to manage the toxic relationships that I know are unhealthy for me. I've tried to help educate my family....problem is they do not want to learn about or understand. Shaming and resenting me is the preferred option and I am finally accepting this harsh reality. I am painfully letting them go, although I pray for them every day.

I don't think a magical cure will be found in my life time. I'm nearing end of life and I can say that I have had an extraordinary life...despite the many traumas I've survived! I have been loved, professionally successful, athletic, a lover, a positive influence, an adventure traveler, an explorer, a compassionate nurturer, a natural healer, fun to be around, an angel to some whose paths I have crossed, and I am now none of these. I don't think I will ever be any of those again in this life time.

I am very grateful to the many caring, compassionate, & generous members on this site who understand living with mental illnesses!!!!!