I think it's a really natural thing to feel like you are going to be forever alone after a breakup. Breakups are incredibly disappointing and sad (its like going through withdrawal). Don't believe your depression and despair though. You will find someone who is a good fit for you someday. I have read some of your posts and to me, it sounded like he was not a good guy (your ex). Also, I think its great that you are close with your family. It sounds like your mom cares about you, too. You honestly sound like you have a lot going for you: a part time job at a lawyers office, disability (stepping stone), intelligent, religious....if you want to meet college educated religious guys who treat you well, make that your standard and don't settle for less. Just because Mr. Right isn't knocking down your door right now, that doesn't mean you should get involved with Mr. Wrong right now. I think there are a lot of ways someone can make themselves more desirable, and to meet more people (and feel good in the process). I'm working on some of these myself: self esteem, becoming more involved in the community (taking classes, volunteering, joining a club, etc), taking care of mental health and presenting to the world in a clean and positive way. Don't let the breakup / despair thoughts get you down.