I’ve been through the wringer today. Started hypo af, making plans to buy paint to paint the doors in the house, ended up shopping for different items and spending $150 on my son for nonsense stuff he doesn’t need. Crashed around lunch time. Like fell hard into depression. I’ve never had changes within the same day before. It’s crazy. Then, I went to my SIL house for awhile, felt a little better, but got extremely anxious on the way home. First I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car so I thought maybe someone had hidden in the backseat or under the car in order to jump out and hurt me or my son. Then going home I thought every car was a cop and that I was going to get pulled over, mistaken for being drunk or high because of anxiety, and arrested. Then I FINALLY made it home safely and I was walking up to the house and thought my mother could be in there dead because someone broke in and murdered her. VERY cautious going in. She’s fine btw. Then I discovered the back door unlocked. I wonder how long it’s been unlocked??? I’m freaking out

I just want this crazy roller coaster to stop!!! I’ve never had such rapid cycling before, I’ve had rapid cycling but not day to day, hour to hour nearly!!! I hate it!!!

In other news my son’s teacher emailed me back and completely ignored all my concerns. I’m done dealing with her. I’ll tell my son to respect her and follow directions but not worry about what she says about him.

Edited to add: despite everything I’ve been going through I am one month cigarette free today!