I feel like losing my father at such a young age and then my husband more recently has damaged me beyond repair. I’d love to truly love another man again, but I’m not sure I can take the risk that he won’t be ripped away from me.

I also feel like my ability to empathize with other people has been damaged. I used to be very compassionate and caring. Now I’m just a shell. A robot. If someone “close” to me is upset over something I feign concern, but in my mind I’m screaming “so the **** what! Get the **** over it!” And I don’t know why. I hate it. I wish I wasn’t like this. I don’t know when or why I turned off my ability to care. It was before my husband died, although that surely hasn’t helped. Might have been around the time I became symptomatic with bipolar again. But I wish I were normal and still loved people.