Hi jbal,

I'm glad you found this place too and I'm glad it is easing you some. It has done the same for me. I know how you feel about not wanting to get attached, it's something I am dealing with right now myself. It sucks that we are just kind of expecting to be let down. The more times we are the more times it's reinforced too.

My oldest brother was in the military. A nuke officer, bubble head . He has expressed to me the same feelings as you in the past. He eventually had to leave early and give up on that career after his first daughter was born with Down's and Autism. His wife was really depressed and he just couldn't be away that long anymore.

I understand your reluctance to talk to a doctor as well. I'm also struggling with that but am pretty well decided to go through with it now (though it's back and forth in my mind day to day still I admit). I don't think your problems are very unusual to military personnel though. I wouldn't be surprised that if you talked to a doctor they wouldn't have seen many military that didn't struggle with what you do. It's nothing to be ashamed of, just something to be dealt with.

Are you stationed over seas? Whether or not I know people in the military keep wierd hours sometimes. I'm an insomniac chef as chance would have it so I keep some crazy hours myself. Anytime you feel the need to chat, if I'm around please feel free to PM me.