For the first bit, being a student doing a double major in a competitive program while having a job as a EMT, and having doubts and anxieties about the future, overall student stress, and life choices. That is normal. The story of someone wanting to become a doctor since childhood, sometimes pressured by parents, and then realizing in med school the realities o f what it actually means to be a doctor in the real world, that is so common. It happens to many people and then they don't know what to do. I wouldn't worry about it that you are at that spot in your life right now. Just move forward and you'll be fine.

But the second part, I don't really know what to say. Surely you are very hard on yourself, but you also have several challenges there. I hope you can hang in here until there are some good days, and then pick up things bit by bit. For example by starting with healthy good and some exercise. This is also when I usually say the 'try to get professional help' thing. But you already know that.