Let me get this straight: you went across state lines to get help somewhere reputable and ended up punching a smug therapist and then LEFT without permission and THEN got rip smashing drunk??? HMmmmmmm...I don't see any logic here. You need to take yourself back and ask for a different dr and stay for a bit...you need to not drink, when feeling low, it makes it worse...no amount will take the pain or hurt away. Your anger is deifnately a problem, isn't it??? How much does it control you??? Cause you surely do not have control over it...You don't want apologies, so I am trying to respect that. I am not trying to make you feel bad or call you out on the carpet...but I am pointing out all the things I see that you need to take IMMEDIATE attention to...please. take care of yourself as if you were _______(a family member or friend that you respect). melanie