I am sorry you are suffering from depression and feel all alone...I know the feelings of the spiraling darkness that seems to choke our breath and threatens to kill our very soul! I also know the pain and stigma that comes from it. I think, in your case, help and a dr and maybe meds would far outweigh the negative...do it before it is too late...now that you found us, we're a new family thats here for you. Never hesitate to pm if you need to talk and there will always be a reply. melanie