It's a relief to know there are others out there seeking help for themselves with this issue. I have been suffering from morbid jealousy a.k.a. delusional jealousy since i was 12 years old and in my first dating scenario. Through my own research i have discovered there most likely is an underlying issue which preceded it. Possibly BPD but I am not certain. I have only been in therapy for a month after avoiding it for 20 years.

I recently found out from my mother that my father had morbid jealousy when they were together. Upon questioning him in hopes of getting some solutions he denied remembering having any symptoms or experiences with it at all. Everyone in his family is either mentally ill or has a history of domestic violence/substance abuse. I am afraid to tell my therapist or anyone how I really feel because of what the internet says is the protocol for these types of violent thoughts.

I am afraid to go outside of my house or make friends because of the way he looks at other women and it destroys me. I have read forums from thousands of other women who say the same thing about their men, yet have apparently no mental illnesses and they all say the same thing,
"Talk to him about it. If he doesn't stop doing it, leave him."
Apparently men looking at other women hurts alot more women than i thought. This is sort of comforting, yet simultaneously questionable. Did society create this??

I have no social life whatsoever and I constantly feel as if i am being attacked, poisoned, or intentionally deluded from the truth everywhere I go and with every interaction. I cannot go to restaurants because I was actually intentionally poisoned once and now my brain convinces me that the food tastes like soap and that the chef put meat juice in it just to be spiteful (I am vegan).

I tried to go out to a party once with him in the past year and every time i turned around he was dancing with another girl! Then it was a red-headed girl! It was an all night party of which we attended for less than an hour and spent 6+ hours in the car because a friend had ridden with us and needed a ride. It feels like everywhere i go women are always trying to 'attack' me. It feels like gingers are my worst nightmare. Why? Why does the world see them as seductresses who exist not to steal your man's heart away but his fidelity? What is wrong with me??? In my past relationship also i was CONVINCED that if anyone stole him away it would be a ginger...

I have sabotaged most good things in my life from myself. Because of severe mental illness and medical issues caused by sexual abuse as a child I was unable to get close to ANYONE in a relationship until i was 21 years old. It is safe to say that I have never had a healthy relationship with myself or anyone else. In the beginning of my current relationship my partner disappeared with his ex for 3 days and didn't invite me. He denies (2 years later) that there was anything wrong with his actions. This has created utter disdain between us. I have brought it up way too many times and what is really awful is that he actually apologized for it once and admitted he was wrong. Then the next day he denied apologizing and denied admitting he did anything wrong. Gas-lighting?? I think so. I don't trust him at all but i have never trusted anyone else either. I had 5 major suicide attempts before we met, that have caused severe damage to my brain and body. I was also severely abused as a child by a meth addict.

I don't know where else to turn but i really need help. I abused substances in my 20's but have been sober more than a year. I can't even have one drink occasionally because it will spiral into a habit that gets worse and worse. The more sober i get the crazier I feel. I don't want medication. I don't trust doctors. I have recently quit cannabis after a 19 year addiction. I have 2 sleeping disorders and was using cannabis at night to be able to sleep. It has been 14 days since i quit and I have wanted to admit myself to the hospital several times during these past two weeks. My partner is also schitzophrenic and hears voices regularly.

He is a good father to my daughter who isn't his child. He is overall -a good man. I'm sure there are better out there, but he is by far better than any guy that came before in my life. I was in several abusive relationships prior to this where a guy actually strangled me and tried to kill me 3 times and I stayed until the 3rd time. My current partner has never physically hurt me but the fact that he can't admit what he did in the beginning was wrong makes me unable to forgive even though i truly want to. I feel more unstable than ever before.
The other day he talked to an attractive woman at the store and I kicked him!!! I feel terrible.

So many women are jealous on a much more subtler level than this yet they don't even recognize or admit it- some do. Some women are not jealous at all. My heart says it may be connected to invalidation as a child along with other developed mental illnesses.

Please don't hate me or judge me for being brutally honest. I truly need your help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.