Thank you for asking.

I was good at breaking up before when dating others, but my husband and I married and committed ourselves to each other for life.

Neither of us are toxic people, but the relationship is so toxic, it’s traumatic, and has been for a long, long time.

It was a slow process that snowballed. It is only over the initiation of sexual intimacy. I am the one who gets explosive tantrums. We’ve tried counseling, meds, everything, but we just don’t work together.

Even just this weekend, I was hopefully preparing on Friday to just try to have a good weekend with him. But, the whole thing blew up, as usual, and my husband is now staying elsewhere. We decided to ‘take a break’.

I had no idea I had this explosive traumatized nervous wreck inside me. There were no signs of any of this in the beginning.

And yet, even through this living hell that both he and I have suffered, we remain fair, kind, partners.

It’s just heartbreaking and unfortunate.

I ended up meeting enough criteria for Borderline traits because I had even started smacking myself in the head out of such severe frustration when experiencing this nightmare.

You had questioned if your gf had BPD, NPD. I found this site a few years ago and did so much soul searching and self analysis to try to figure out why this happened and how to stop it.

I NEVER did any manipulative, petty, nervy things like your gf does. I’ve really tried my best and have my heart in the right place. But, I do see evidence of emotional disorder in me.

I hope this helps you.

Again, if you are seeing blazing red flags while dating, really, do yourself a favor and run.