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Majorly with my ex-T. He definitely took over the roll of guardian and to this day we are now platonic friends and have met up for coffee. We still talk to each other every couple of weeks. We have spent time on the phone about his issues with his wife and I have called him in a triggered state for him to calm me down.
It is hard not to have the same expectations from a new T. My standards are way to high because of my ex-T. So I have lowered my standards to expect nothing out of them and I will not feel jaded.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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