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"For the Borderline, winning takes precedence over getting well. Thus ensues an endless power struggle with the clinician. Their narcissism resents anyone's expertise or wisdom eclipsing them, so they are prone to selecting therapists who aren't equipped to meet their needs. The ones who have the capacity to help, jostle their defenses, and heighten their competitive reflexes. The one element that can actually assist them in healing, is the thing they dread most--which is surrendering to someone's care. Even the loss of a dysfunctional identity (en route to becoming sound and whole), is too frightening to ponder."
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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