That sounds super frustrating.

It's okay if he wants to spend his time helping you instead of relaxing. Ultimately, he gets to decide how he spends his time. It would be good to work on being okay with that, imo.

It's also possible to do the same job correctly multiple ways, and it's good to get used to that also. TBH, I struggle with that and often want to correct my bf when he's cooking because he's not doing it the way I think he should... but I snap at him when he critiques whatever I'm doing in the same way.

When you asked him to stop de-icing because you wanted to do it yourself and just go to work, he didn't. Why? Did he not get that you were serious? Did he not care how much it bothered you? Did he think you were going to drive off in an unsafe car if he didn't finish doing it his way? This argument actually seems like an awesome way for you two to talk about how you guys fight/handle disagreement because the topic is so impersonal but you both got worked up to the point that the neighbors called the cops.