Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I was never taught about seeking advice and from whom at all. Nothing like that was ever said in my upbringing. I was taught right from wrong by my mother, as time went by, as situations occurred, or as I watched things unfold for others in my family or friends.
I was taught to trust my own instincts. I was taught that nobody knows more than I do, deep down, like clergy. Pshaw! Every person of stature turned out to be a fraud! My mother was very vocal about that. I guess it unleashed with Nixon and The Beatles, and that’s how I was raised.
So, the advice I feel that I can give is only on subjects that I feel competent, of course. It is either through my mother’s teachings, or from what I’ve learned from seeing for myself.
I love getting advice from others, and everybody loves to give advice. But, I never thought about if that person is giving good advice because they are successfully living their own advice.
Maybe there’s a type of intelligence, ‘people smarts’. I have a good sense if I do X, then Y will happen. I’m not sure how I learned human nature so well.
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So are you saying that this has worked for you? Through your life? Or did you make changes?
You stated that “nobody knows more than I do.” I found that extremely interesting. I was taught the exact opposite. I was taught that I don’t know anything & when I thought I did, voiced it especially to family, if I disagreed, I was condemned for it bec I was not following along. I was not taught to be a free thinker. I was also taught that I shouldn’t be confident in my thinking bec that came across as arrogance & I needed to go back & be humble. (I think this was rooted in my religious upbringing) I still hear this today from my own parents.
Then enter most of my life with huge issues of MH & well I was labeled “sick.” Sick people don’t make good decisions or even think straight so any decisions I made out of confidence were construed as wrong bec “I’m sick”, just listen to everyone else. And I did. I’ve been “sick” for a very long time.
Looking back on this loop of indecision’s throughout my life it’s made me second guess just about everything. Anything I can point to in confidence from then, a part of me can taint that memory with a bad outcome. So to have confidence, listen to my own intuition or feel like I’m doing the right thing....leaves me walking in circles of self doubt. Constantly!
Even people now that offer advice, maybe even good advice, a part of me looks for the negative, the places I could fail & this loop breeds so much self doubt I become frozen. I just don’t do anything out of fear. And that breeds anger into rage over what I’ve become.