I'm really sorry, I could see how awful that would feel. It may have caught your T by surprise, if this is the first time you've mentioned it, and she may have dropped the ball on this a bit. I don't think that means she doesn't care about you. It's entirely possible for her to care about you very much and still make a mistake. (As they are so fond of saying, they are only human -- but it is true.)

Has she told you that out of session contact is not allowed? My T never explicitly told me anything, one way or the other, about out of session contact. I just started emailing him now and then, and he never said I couldn't. [ETA: He begins his replies by thanking me for writing, and has told me that he doesn't consider it ethical to not offer out of session contact, so I do know it's definitely okay. But I didn't know this when I first tried emailing.]