My T told me once that I'm the only client who emails her other than for scheduling. She never liked doing it, and I tried to stop at times. That didn't work for me. We agreed to try my emailing but her not replying. That didn't work for me either. T changed just for me. We are both comfortable with my emails now, and she always emails back. I think it's a sign of a good relationship and a good T not to be too rigid. Scarlet, you have a good T, and a good relationship with her.

I forgot to answer your question! Yes, I think our Ts are real to us. Adapting (I don't think molding them is the best descriptor) to us doesn't seem to me relevant to being real or not. Maybe I misunderstood what you meant?