It is their job to mold themselves to what works best for each individual client, within their own boundaries of course. I don' think any client sees the true therapists real life personality. They are all acting to some degree. They are not as attentive and understanding with people all the time in their real life.

I have told my T what works best for me and what bothers me and he has made adjustments of his own free choice. I know because I recently told him I felt guilty about a change he made after a rupture. Explain my guilt is due to my upbringing and it was his choice to change the way he is doing things. I would not call it manipulation at all and if the therapist felt manipulated I think they would resent making any changes or not make them at all. Then again we all have to do things we don't like in the workplace so if they felt manipulated maybe they would change for the sake of successfully doing their job but I can still see where they would feel resentful.