I wanted to vote no, but they were not damn near perfect, so I went with other. When I did attachment therapy, my therapist said that it was her responsibility to meet my unmet needs and wants as much as possible. She thinks this is true for all her clients as long as she does not sacrifice herself or her family. She is somewhat of a lone wolf in believing that adult unmet attachment needs have to be satisfied if people with insecure attachment styles want to move to a more secure attachment style. She considers this to be true whether you are one or one hundred. These childhood needs can be met in other ways and through different relationships, but most people limp along through life only surviving.

My adult life was unmanageable and childhood torturous because my parents emotionally frustrated me. They were kind parents but did not know how to fulfill my infant/child needs. My therapist believed as the perfect mother reacts to her baby when the baby cries. There are times when the mother cannot meet the babies needs right away, so the baby learns to settle herself. That is where the frustration, aka torture for me came in and I had to self-soothe. In the beginning, it was rough because I felt abandoned, too much, hated by her - my past history of not having my needs met. It was her consistency in responding when she could (quite often in my case) allowed me to trust that she would respond, and my ability to self-soothe grew over time.

I thought this would take the rest of my life. She said we could do it in 18-24 months. Her techniques are not those of 1 -2 times/week talk therapy. She takes one or two attachment clients at a time and is willing to be that good enough parent till the client can do it for themselves.

I have a standby therapist now, and the thought does not even occur to me that she would try intentionally try and frustrate me.