My session hasn't happened yet. I emailed to let her know I'd gotten a cold the end of last week, rested all weekend and took supplements, and am mostly over it--was she okay if I came in today? She replied that honestly, she was not, that I may still be contagious and she doesn't want to get sick, so she offered something for tomorrow during a time that I can't get away. Then she said I could be on her cancellation list for Thursday, without thinking that it might be a bad day for me workwise, which it is. Even if I moved everything around, it's still just only if she has a cancellation which is not likely.

I felt this wave of hurt, even though I'd asked her about this. I guess I was hoping that I was overreacting and she was not at all concerned. It happens that she would very much not like me around in the event I carry a cold virus to her office. She works at another location with teens, and I bet anything they are not 100% cold free over there, but she would move heaven and earth for them (rightly so, but I am being petty) so it just all feels like massive rejection.

I kept emailing to ask if we could do a phone call. I finally heard back that yes, we can do that, and that she hadn't replied because she was in session--however, her earlier emails came during the beginning and middle of what would have been a session, so I am not feeling great about any of this.

This just does nothing about my fears of being naturally repulsive.