Thanks LT. I had my phone session. She kind of wondered why I asked to begin with if she would prefer I not come in, and I said I didn't think through the risk and had probably wanted to hear that it was no big deal. It is a big deal to her, it turns out. She said she's self employed (as am I, so I don't know why she had to put that out there) and can't risk getting sick. I said if she were sick, I would show up, which points to the imbalance in the relationship. She said she wouldn't show up sick. So we went around like that for quite a while, getting to the core of it which is my feelings around being rejected and alone and, before even any of that, core issues with things growing up. Then I moved on to talk about other issues hoping the hurt would subside. It never did. In fact, she dropped a doorknob bombshell on me with the name of someone who's work I have massive issues with. So now I have that to make me wonder if any of this is even worth it. Overall, a bad day that I brought on myself. Next time I know not to ever ask someone if they would prefer I don't show up for whatever reason.
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