Thank you all for your advice. I think I may have lead you to the wrong thing with my wording. I completely understand the idea of you maybe thinking I am "competing" for something in this matter. That is not it at all. I have always told my husband that the children come first. Especially now. (I also have a daughter in our house) My thing with "being included" is that my husband and his family use me when they need me because they know how close the boys and I are, but when they don't need me it's like I am completely invisible in this matter. The children are with my husband and I half the time or more and always have been so of course I am very protective and close to them. Also, my husband still relies on my opinion "when he needs me." He just doesn't let me in on how my stepsons are doing otherwise in the treatment that we got for them. I promised my stepsons that I would help them as much as I could when they first came to me, and since their mother is lying about the past it is really bothering them now. Those kids are having a rough time and the fact that they always come to me for help and I can't do anything makes me feel useless, but when I get my husband to step up I don't really know if they are doing better or not because instead of talking to me he calls his mother or sister. It just worries me. As far as their mother goes, I have never crossed my boundaries. That would be so wrong, but right now the kids best interest is not at heart. She's only worried about keeping herself out of trouble. It is a very complicated situation, and I know how hard it must be to give advice on something that may draw different thoughts. I am just very stressed out thinking about the outcomes of this huge mess, and yes I feel very left out, but mostly I feel like I am turning my back on the boys by not doing anything when they have depended on me for so long. Thank you all the same.