i feel that way allot. Right now its behind me. I hope that is encouraging to you. There was a time where being around my T was painful.. just going was interference. I finally feel balanced like I can share without feeling so much transference (sp?). I dont know. I think that place you are in is healing even though painful. I had to go through it to realize how closed off and untrusting i was. I had to know that even when she felt far away, she really wasnt.. she was the same (or at least most of the time). I'm wishing you peace during this time.

EV