I’m so sorry about that. . I didn’t OD, but took about 6x my normal dose of a med. Not to OD, but just put me to sleep for awhile. I left my home about 9:30 this morning, without telling anyone, sat around in parking lots just crying and writing horrible things in my journal. Never responded to my husband’s many calls, only texted my mom to pick up our girls from school. I debated how much of my meds to take. I thought 6 pills would just help me calm down. But I didn’t want to sleep in a car running with the AC on, and it was too hot to just stay in the car indefinitely, so I texted my husband I was coming home. I was gone about 4 hours. The meds had started to kick in, and I know I shouldn’t have been on the road, but I made it home. Slept for only about 3 hours, what a bunch of crap. Talking with my husband helped a little, but as soon as some minor stress kicks in, I don’t feel confident enough about myself to say this won’t happen again. Each time I’m gone away longer, and this is the first time I took meds with me.

I’m just worried about what they will do if I say all of this tomorrow. I want to be honest, since my crisis reactions appear to be getting worse. I’m pretty sure they can’t make me do IP though. And I don’t want to have my benzo taken away. I just wish it had more effect than 3 hours. It’s a lot to consider. I’m feeling a little calm, but still on edge.