My therapist recently told me that I most likely have a form of BPD, but I haven't gotten an "official diagnosis". However, I'm aware that I'm struggling with a lot of the things people with BPD struggle with.

Lately I've been opening up more about my mental health issues to my friends (I relapsed with my ED about a year ago, and have gone through some depressive episodes and struggle with a lot of anxiety right now), and out of the 3 friends I've told more about this to, I've found that I'm kind of starting to obsess about one of them. I don't even know why I'm so attached to her, she's an absolutely lovely person, but so are my other friends as well. It's just making things more hard for me, because I constantly want to see her, talk to her, be around her... I get jealous when she spends time with other people, and extremely paranoid every time she cancels on me, even though she has a perfectly good explanation.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Being obsessed with one specific friend, which just causes you to feel jealous or get paranoid anytime something doesn't work out exactly as you wanted it to? I feel so stupid since I have other friends who care about me as well, why can't I rely on them instead when I need to. No, because according to my head it has to be this specific girl.

How can I deal with this situation in a healthy way? I don't want to cause more unnecessary anxiety and suffering for myself just because of the jealousy and paranoia whenever I feel like she picks other people over me.