Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Yes, she's made significant shifts for you...that I believe you didn't ask for (like the bell towards the end of session and your solution was to leave early iirc, but she just rearranged her schedule or something).
But when you do ask for something, she can't comply or even give a reasonable reason for why she can't comply? But will do it for someone else?
She's relying on being passive-aggressive and on your good nature to get herself off the hook.
Speaking generally here, if therapists are supposed to reparent us, how do we know we're not going to get another unsatisfactory parent, just unsatisfactory in a different way?
(That last is probably a spillover from my session yesterday, when Info breezily announced that she did therapy by building relationships. If that's the case, I don't find her very good at it. Then she got offended when I told her I couldn't tell if she cared, as opposed to other therapists I've seen. She then informed me she liked all her clients. And no other client has ever given her the feedback that they can't tell if she cares. At that point I just gave up.)
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You remember correctly.
No, the problem isn’t that she won’t comply when I point it out — E.g. I’m pretty sure if I dump a bunch of stuff on her to read up about the motherland, she will totally go ahead and do it and then essentially say, “See? I did it for you too”.
But, I find that rather pointless — what bothers me is why she hadn’t done it in the first place for me but instamatically thought of doing it for another client. So, her answer to that has been that she does different things for different people but that doesn’t really answer my question.
But, back to your main point — I think it’s pretty much impossible that any sort of reparenting won’t be flawed. I think for me, stuff seems so bizarrely screwed up with the family that Blondie with all her issues seems I dunno, supremely normal in comparison? I might well change my mind about that at some point but I’m still not sure I’ll ever change my mind about my bio family, if that makes sense?
It’s sadly hilarious that Info got mad about being told it’s hard to read if she cares. (I think she does, fwiw.) I’m not sure why she’d get so worked up about it unless her personal self image was somehow wrapped up in it?