I wouldn't call going to the hospital 'giving up..' it's a great resource!! Maybe it's just because we have one of the leading hospitals in my town, but I have got such great care there!! You can get your meds adjusted while in a safe environment, which it sounds like you might need to, you can bond with the other patients (my favorite part) you can do art therapy, music therapy, just relax!! If you're checking YOURSELF in, you can go prepared- with books, quarters to make calls, pictures for the walls, a deck of cards, lots of clothes....and the focus can be on YOU again, taking care of YOU...you know I do the same thing only it's while I'm waitressing and cannot ever remember putting the order in....quite scary when dealing with customers...if life is overhwelming, and the thought of the hospital cam to mind, that's a sign, right? write back- love junerain