so we had a long back and forth that he doesn't want advise from me and i seem to be giving him this advise without realizing it. he once again threatened to block me permanently, which is abusive, but he apologized for that later.

Then after a long back and forth we eventually got to him saying that he was punished as a child for asking for help and I told him it makes sense to me because i had problems all my life asking for help. So that was a breakthrough of sorts. Now I know what a salient issue is that I didn't realize he was dealing with.

So this is what I wrote and am waiting to hear back:

"i have many stressors atm: physical health, mental health, social isolation, legal problems
but i have peace in my home and want to keep it that way
it's really my last refuge
it's the timing of things right now that isn't so great
you are also under some stress as anyone would be looking for a job
so it is good to be around people who are not so stressed out
i can pay for you to stay somewhere else
where would you like to go?"