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Originally Posted by Mouse_62
Why people can only think in terms of blank slate if the T doesn't disclose, baffles me.
Someone can talk about themselves yet be completely cut off from their emotions.
In fact the more self disclosure, I'd say the more cut off they are.
I couldn't work well with someone not in touch fully with themselves.
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Originally Posted by feileacan
I guess I really don't understand how human connection and self disclosures are related at all. According to my understanding human connection develops with being together, sharing the feelings and closeness together in the moment. I don't see how disclosures from T's part are necessary for that. To my mind it actually dilutes the connection because the attention is drawn away from the mutual relationship and feelings in the moment.
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Originally Posted by feileacan
That's ok if it works for you. Your post just implied that no human connection is possible without self-disclosure and I was just merely pointing out that those two are not necessarily related.
I personally pay for my therapist out of pocket and I would refuse to pay him for being a friend. For me self-disclosure is a cheep and shallow way of establishing connection and, although it is absolutely appropriate between friends, from my T I expect, whom I really pay a lot from my monthly income, far more than that.
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I was agreeing with some of what you both said...and if I recall correctly, aren't both of you with psychoanalytic therapists, where the T gives you a good amount of space? I've had that experience of being given space to be myself w/o being influenced by the other and it made a difference to me, though my T was too far in the distancing direction which was harmful to me at times.
Not always, but it does seem to me that talking and revealing less can indicate a more solid sense of self or secure person as opposed to people talking/showing behaviors to be liked, to be needed, to manipulate, to influence, controlling, intrusive, etc.
I'm thinking of enmeshment, which doesn't seem to be uncommon among Ts. Likely those who didn't have depth therapy. Being separate from another, but connected (as opposed to enmeshed) can make a big difference in a relationship.
This web page found above seems like it relates to the preferences shown here. Probably nobody is black and white, but I think I'm a fair mix between the 2--I'm not a perfectionist but I do have needs for autonomy. Overall, I am more focused on the relationships/the other.
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General Description
Blatt, Shahar, and Zuroff (2001) believe people's self-identity needs and relationship needs compete. In normal development, these needs are balanced, but in psychopathology, one or the other predominates. They define introjective patients as preoccupied with issues relating to their sense of self, self-worth, autonomy, and control. In contrast, anaclitic patients are overly focused on relationship issues such as intimacy, trust, and sexuality.
Relevance to Psychotherapy
In terms of psychotherapeutic differences, Blatt et al. found that anaclitic patients had better outcomes in psychotherapy than in psychoanalysis, while introjective patients had better outcomes in psychoanalysis than in psychotherapy. They proposed that introjective patients, who are concerned with separateness, prefer less direct interactions with their therapists, and anaclitic patients, who are concerned with relationships, prefer more direct interactions. In addition, they found that introjective patients, who tend to be perfectionistic and self-critical, have relatively more trouble developing relationships with their therapists, and tend to drop out of therapy prematurely. They recommended that therapists take more time and care developing therapeutic alliances with these patients.
Matching Clients to Therapists
In light of these findings, it was decided that the matching system should try to match introjective clients with therapists who are less direct and take more care and time in developing the therapeutic relationship. In addition, introjective clients should be matched to therapists who practice therapy that tends to be less time limited. Anaclitic clients should be matched to therapists who are more direct and openly friendly.
Therapist Referral: Matching Clients to Therapists Based on Anaclitic and Introjective Dimensions
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