Ruby, the difference between your nephew's behavior and your behavior is that he is 4. You are an adult. When you begin showering attention on someone that you only have a work relationship with, it becomes uncomfortable. Can you not see that the actions of a 4 year old are on a different level than the actions of an adult?

As far as your friend, the relationship she has is with a teacher, and there are also proper boundaries in place. With your fast food supervisor, you did not respect her boundaries. I'm guessing your friend doesn't hang around her teacher during times when she isn't supposed to be at school or eavesdrop in on her conversations with the principal. You have to see that there is a difference. A student/teacher relationship will have a lot of "looking up" to and mentorship. But there are still boundaries, which your friend and her teacher both respect.

What you did was unsuccessful because you showed up when you were not wanted and refused to give your supervisor her boundaries. You FORCED a relationship on her instead of letting it develop naturally. For example, when you insisted that she be FORCED to wish you a happy birthday. You wanted to control her emotions. That is not a healthy friendship.

What you need to learn to develop close relationships is to respect other people's boundaries. It's totally okay to find out that your co-worker likes Sour Patch Kids and bring them a small pack and say "I remembered you liked these so I picked up some to say thanks for all your help." That's an appropriate way to show your acknowledgement of someone. But showering gifts on someone all the time is inappropriate as an adult to someone who you do not have a steadfast friendship with. Also, it's inappropriate to give gifts to your supervisor because of the nature of the managerial relationship. Only on the rarest occasion would it be a good idea. Certainly not as many times as you mentioned.

What you need to do is be careful and very cautious, because you have trouble understanding boundaries and people's limits. If you proceed with caution as you develop friendships, you will be more successful in building close relationships. But remember, close relationships take time to build. They don't happen overnight.

This is really something that you need to work with your therapist on.

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