thank yall

for me... i dont choose to do any of these things...

its like sort of drifting off to sleep, but not being asleep, like going inward to my own world..
i have flashbacks like that.. of stupid stuff, literally... but just triggering stuff i guess...

its all the time, i just want to make it stop..
its interrupting so much progress and making things really difficult and challenging.

for example if i get stuck on a conversation i had before with someone thats kind of hurting me some how... ill go through it over and over, recent events more so than past..but my memory is so bad i dont really remember the past...

but its like i can see the other persons and am interacting with them inside
but its bad because i cant focus because of stuff like this...
always drifting away i guess maybe never seeming present... or grounded?

but i dont even know what it means to be grounded now...
whats the opposite of being grounded?

what happens if you are not grounded?

i dont act out in anger in anyway form or fashion, its doesnt really exist in me... maybe some part of me.. but i just turn so much inward...